However, what has been really concerning me over many weeks is his eyesight. I haven't really been able to work this out since he's been in hospital. There have certainly been times when he has genuinely been able to see - reading individual letters in a word printed in a magazine, or getting the colour of visitors' clothing correct, etc. Asking him if he could see always produced the answer 'yes', but this wasn't necessarily seeing what others would. It has now become clear that he can no longer see - there had been on and off periods with this too, sometimes seeing what I showed him and sometimes not. Now it's a world of shades of grey, light and dark. This I think is leaving Colin even more confused when there is activity of any kind in his room and even agitated. He cannot see you if you visit so PLEASE be aware of that. Make sure you say who you are and how he knows you. And then only speak one at a time - he finds it really difficult to keep up with more than one person in a conversation as he's relying very heavily on his hearing - which is not good if he's lying on his left ear. Telling him what you've been doing is a good plan but you may not get much feedback. This can be difficult but please don't give up visiting - it's what breaks up his day!
The hospital have decided they cannot continue to look after him and therefore I have to decide an appropriate place for his continuing care. That is how I have been engaged this week and it isn't a pleasant or easy task. I have many hang-ups of placing Colin in a nursing home which I won't go into here, but in the end that might be the only option.
I took myself down to the Cheltenham meeting of the Brain Tumour Support charity group on Tuesday. It was good to see those that have become our friends again. It must have been awful for them to hear me relate the lastest saga of Colin's situation.
Returning home each evening from the hospital one gets a certain view of the Malvern Hills in the evening sunlight. This has reminded me of the times Colin and I used to go walking on the hills after work - that was before work took over and left us with neither the time nor the energy in the evenings to do such a thing. Times, I'm sad to say, which we will never have again.